My Stupid Mouth
by Rowan Fox
Summary: Naruto is on a date with Sakura, but no matter what happens, his mouth seems to be getting him into more and more trouble...


My Stupid Mouth

There it was. The indelible silence that comes from that demon that was awkwardness. Running a tongue over his drying lips, Naruto played with the condensation on the side of his glass, drawing silly faces and writing his name in delicate symbols with his fingernail. Across from him sat Sakura of Team Seven, the most beautiful girl in Konoha. As usual she looked amazing, even as uncomfortable as she was now. One of her many talents, Naruto thought, in addition to being bossy and proud and wonderful.

As he let his eyes stray outside, he thought back only a few moments ago, when he had just been in conversation, and spectacularly killed it. They had been discussing Sasuke, and his latest girl-fling. This already had Sakura in a bit of distress, Naruto knew. But, being male, he lacked that gene that tells a guy when to shut up. So, instead, he rattled off things that he was sure would be comforting, explaining how he never liked girls that would cut off body parts to be with Sasuke anyway, and that Sasuke himself probably never liked them either. It was only after she stared at him in disbelief that he realized she considered herself one of those girls.

She had looked away from him, a blush rouging her cheeks. "Well, anyway…" she mumbled. The conversation had called for a subject change, and, unable to provide one, they now sat in silence. _I didn't_ mean_ to offend her, _he thought,_ why is it always my fault_? It was a marvel he had even gotten her to go out with him, he thought. Even though it was only lunch, it had a hassle. He and Sasuke and Sakura had all been on the town, walking through Konoha after morning training, and it was Kakashi that had interrupted them to take Sasuke for another extra training rendezvous. At first, Naruto had been thrilled to be left alone with Sakura, and, ignoring her protests and excuses, insisted they go to get a meal.

The walk alone had been uncomfortable. Personally, Ichirauku Ramen Stand would have been perfect, in his opinion. The food there was always so fast you barely had time to talk before you were slurping down the tasty, spicy goodness. But no, when Haruno Sakura had to go out, they had to _go out_. Feeling the need to run home, he had waited twenty minutes before she reappeared, having changed out of her sweaty training clothes, and pulled her hair back. When she passed him, her perfume wafted past his nose, and it depressed him mildly to know that Sakura hadn't put it on for him – she was just one of those girls that had to look and be perfect before they went anywhere. She had also wanted a sit-down restaurant.

So here they were, and Naruto was afraid to say anything more. Everything that ran through his head sounded wrong, and already he was mentally berating himself. _My stupid mouth…there goes another one, tough guy. Good job killing yet another conversation._ Everyone warned him about it, everyone. How many times had Jiraiya and Tsunade warned him to think before speaking? For once, he thought that maybe, the perverted old hermit had actually been onto something.

He watched in silence as she began to shred bits of napkin from under her glass and roll it into tiny balls. Just as uncomfortable and oddly bored as she was, he took the salt and pepper shakers out of their containers and played with them for a while in his hands. Every now and then, Sakura would look at him as if to say "how childish", but kept her mouth just as closed as his.

"Sakura, I-"

"Naruto-"

"I'm sorry-"

"Anwyay…" she sighed loudly, placing her chin on the palm of one hand. "Where do you think Sasuke went with Kakashi-sensei?"

_Okay…so she doesn't want any apologies. Dammit, why is this so hard? I didn't say anything that bad…and damn Sasuke. She's out with a great guy like me, and she's thinking about _him

Biting the edges of his tongue as he played with the fork and the pepper shaker, he firmly made a decision.

"I am never speaking up again," he muttered. She looked up, mildly curious.

"What?"

"I am never-"

"No, I mean what as in, 'what does that have to do with my question'. I heard you the first time."

"Oh. I dunno."

Sakura sighed again, rolling her eyes. After a few moments, he looked back up, studying her face as she bit her lips, looking out the window to their side. She was so pretty like that, so nice when she was worried…she could be so amazing, but then, she would go through things like this. Where she would become reticent and boring and rude. Naruto inclined his head just a bit. He could go the rest of the lunch without saying anything. He could be like Sasuke. He would be…a mystery. _Yeah, that's it, _he thought._ Mysterious._.Never say anything, never speaking up again, starting now.

"Naruto?"

"Huh?"

_Dammit!_ He thought. _I spoke…Okay, from now on, nothing else._

"The waitress?" she said, a little exasperated. She tilted her head toward a skinny red head leaning on the table.

"Oh…er…do you have ramen?"

The waitress raised one eyebrow. "What do you think we are? Ichiraku?"

"Just give him the tempura platter," Sakura interjected, and Naruto got the impression she was covering for him, somehow. _But because…she's embarrassed of me._

The red head nodded, and loped off. Naruto actually placed one hand over his mouth. _I can't anything else…Sakura-chan will get mad at me, and leave…_

Although at this rate, he wasn't sure he cared anymore. Sakura was now studying the tabletop.

"Naruto," she said softly.

He allowed himself to look at her as an answer. She went on. "Why did you want to go out to lunch with me?"

Naruto removed his hand, but said nothing. He wasn't going to screw this up too. _Don't say anything, Naruto, anything…_

A little annoyed at his silence, she looked up, and saw him staring at her.

"Well?" Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you even going to answer me?"

"Uh…er…"

Sakura rolled her eyes again. "Can't you even answer a simple question, Naruto? Honestly…I thought you liked me. If you liked me, then you wouldn't be acting so weird!" she huffed, and got up from the table. "Forget it, I'm wasting my time," she sighed, and without another word, got up, and left.

Naruto stared after her, mouth slightly open.

"But…I didn't say anything…" he murmured, completely bewildered.

_She…deserted me. _Just at that moment, the waitress came back, and put the food on the table, then spun off again as someone was calling her name. His eyes traveled to the table, and the scents of hot food wafted past his nose. Looking at his food, he made a face.

"I don't even like tempura…" he said to no one, pushing it away. Eyes closed, he leaned his head on the back of his chair. "My stupid mouth…"

"Ai…women," said a monotonous voice from in front of him. As he opened his eyes, he saw Shikamaru and Chouji sitting across from him. Shikamaru looked slightly amused, and Chouji was eyeing the food. After giving him the go-ahead, he began to feast upon the tempura. Shikamaru leaned one elbow on the table.

"So, what did you do?"

""Nothing!" Naruto protested. "Everytime I said something, it was wrong, and then when I didn't say anything, that was wrong too! I'm never going to speak, from this day forward, ever again," he crossed his arms. "It just gets me in trouble."

For about a minute straight, there was complete silence at the table, except for the crunching of Chouji's food. Shikamaru looked at Naruto, stubborn and quiet. In his head, he slowly counted back from ten. _Three…two…one…_

"One more thing," Naruto piped up again, and Shikamaru chuckled to himself. "How is this my fault? I didn't _do_ anything! It's her fault for being so…so…weird!"

"She's a girl, Naruto. Ino is the same way," he rolled his eyes. "Inconcievable."

Naruto growled out of frustration, fisting his hands in his hair. Shikamaru took some of Sakura's food and chewed on it for a while, before answering. "They're women," he shrugged.

"I'm never speaking up again," Naruto mumbled, and Shikamaru bit his tongue to keep from grinning. "Never again…starting now."


End file.
